By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
Guest Post By Tammy Karasek @TammyKarasek
We’ve all been given the same number of hours in a day and days in a week. We can’t change either of those. I’m not speaking in terms of how long we live, although we don’t choose that either. I’m focusing on the time we spend on our day-to-day activities.
Do we rush through, checking off our to-do list as if we’ll get a trophy or ribbon at the end of the week? Do we cross off one item, then add three more?
How many of us would raise our hand to those questions? I’m raising mine, that’s for sure. Often, I seem to race through my day, then move toward panic mode as the list grows rather than shrinks.
When I find myself in such a hurried state and near exhaustion or break-down mode, I’m reminded of a petite lady my family encountered at a memory care unit where my grandma once lived. The lady’s name was Janet.
I can still remember my mom, husband, and daughter sitting in my grandma’s room. Rules of the facility were that all doors were to be kept open at all times by the residents. Residents were free to walk the hall and go to the community room at their leisure, but could never go into another resident’s room without their permission. Ms. Janet obeyed the rules.
Our daughter was talking when suddenly, someone was talking in the doorway. She spoke with a soft voice. “Hello.” We responded—or started to. She immediately went into a story.
“I thought I would stop and say hello. Hello. I’m very busy, so many things.” She looked down at her watch, not set to the current time, and continued. “Yes, there is so much to do. I have to do all the things. So many things.”
She reached to the flat, empty black purse with the gold-ball clasp and short handles hanging at the crook of her elbow. Opened it. Closed it. Adjusted it back to her bent elbow. Then looked at her watch. Adjusted it on her wrist “Oh my. Time is getting late. I won’t have time to finish all the things I’ve got to do. I must go do all the things. Must go. Gotta go.”
And she was off. No wave. No goodbye.
We looked at each other and shrugged. My sweet grandma shook her head. “That woman comes to my door all day long. She says nothing else other than she has so many things to do, must go.”
Curious, my daughter and I peeked out of Grandma’s door and looked down the hall. Sure enough, she’d stopped at the next door. Same words. Same actions with her watch and her black purse. Similar to a wash, rinse, repeat cycle. At that moment, a nurse came by and said, “Ah, I see you’ve met Janet.”
“Yes, she stopped at Grandma’s door.”
“That’s her thing. Every day. All day. The same thing. She had to have been so busy in her life, and that’s where her mind has stopped in the groove of her record. It seems she did and did, but didn’t live.” The nurse went down the hall.
I returned to my chair. Thinking of not only Ms. Janet, but the words the nurse had said. Was I guilty of the same lifestyle? Did I zip through life doing but not living?
What had she done or not done during her life that had left such an impression on her mind? As our visits continued, we realized Ms. Janet was stuck in a loop.
That was twenty-one years ago, and it comes back to me every time I over-schedule myself. I see Ms. Janet and her broken watch and empty black purse. I hear her words. I feel her anguish of worrying if I will get it all done.
I’ve created a reality check for myself called the Ms. Janet Check. When I wind up where I’m in that overwhelmed mode with all the things on my list, I will find my hubby. I’ll look at him and grin, then say, “Me and my black purse have too much to do, so many things, gotta go.”
We both laugh. I’ll shuffle back to my desk and my list and see Ms. Janet in my mind. I know it’s time to throw out the purse and build in those necessary margins for living.
I question what opportunities I’m missing that the Lord has chosen me to do for Him, but I’m too busy checking off my list, adjusting my watch and black purse, that I don’t even see those divine appointments. Am I too busy I miss important encounters with people who need a hand, an ear, a shoulder?
I challenge you today to put your black purse down and make sure you create a schedule that allows you to be available for Kingdom work.
Tammy
Tammy Karasek uses humor and wit to bring joy and hope to every aspect in life. Her past, filled with bullying and 
criticism from family, drives her passion to encourage and inspire others and give them The Reason to smile. She’s gone from down and defeated to living a “Tickled Pink” life as she believes there’s always a giggle wanting to come out!
A writer of Romance—with a splash of sass. She’s also The Launch Team Geek helping authors launch their books and also a Virtual Assistant for several best-selling authors. She is now under contract for her book on Launch Teams due to release Fall 2023. Her work was also published in a Divine Moments Compilation Book—Cool-inary Moments.
She’s also the Social Media Manager for the Blue Ridge Mountains Christian Writers Conference, Founding President and current Vice-President of ACFW Upstate SC, and Founding President of Word Weavers Upstate SC. She’s a writing team member for The Write Conversation Blog, Novel Academy, MBT Monday Devotions, The Write Editing and more. Connect with Tammy at https://www.tammykarasek.com.
Thank you, Tammy. I learned so much from your post. I think we all did!
Comments 61
This is a perfect picture to ensure a lasting reminder to serve with Kingdom purpose rather than becoming enslaved to time. And tasks. Tammy, thanks for sharing!
Thanks for your kind words!
Good word picture message. Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you, Carolyn!
Tammy,
I was in my favorite discount store today and my eyes immediately zoomed to the black purses! I’ll always think of your blog when I see them! My sweet daddy was in a memory care facility. Although there wasn’t a Miss Janet, I can relate to your story. ❤️
Thank you for giving such a great visual and reminder to slow down and enjoy God’s creation!
BTW: my hubby’s from Greenville, SC area. He and I met and married in Beaufort!
Lol – gotcha! May we all look at black purses the same way as you did today. Reminders that cause a little giggle are always good in my mind!
Terry, Oh, the bits of memories that enrich our lives. Thank you so much!
Oh my goodness, I need to throw out my broken watch and black purse and pay closer attention to those Kingdom opportunities instead of the list I’ve created! Thanks for the reality check. 🙂
Leigh, I’m laughing and rereading at your comment because it’s so true! Thank you!
Lol, Leigh! Join the club! Can you just imagine the black purses with broken watches inside accumulating in a big pile this week?
I am very fortunate because, when my husband retired nearly eight years ago, we started taking two daily coffee breaks. Each with our half cup of coffee, mid-morning and mid-afternoon, we sit together. Most often, we talk, but sometimes we read or watch a podcast. The other day we stood on our balcony and simply admired the view. Those two breaks have become so important to us that we hate to give them up even to travel!
Lisa, what a sweet way to show what is important. Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing this with us. What a great way to stop and reset, and with your best friend, too!
Ouch! I resemble those remarks. While I chuckled at seeing little “Miss Janet” in my mind, I also recalled how my Mémé (French for grandmother), sitting in the waiting room at our family’s Texaco station knitting. Alzheimer’s had found its way into her live and I often found her muttering to herself. One minute, she was counting casts (I think that’s what it was called) and the next she was cursing for all she was worth. We gently remind mama that it was time to take her mama home so as not to frighten the other customers. I also found myself doing some soul-searching for my “black purse” (now ain’t that a mental picture for y’all). Mine, sadly is finding far too often that I’m getting upset because I’m spending so much time as a caregiver, church worker, ranch owner, consultant, mentor, teacher, farmer, mechanic, home repair technician, dishwasher, chef, laundry doer (sorry, not sure what they’re called), housekeeper, dog walker, chauffeur, and what seems like a thousand other things that I become frustrated when “I can’t do what I want to do.” Is it because I’m so busy with everything else, for everybody else, that I rob myself of my own joy? You’ve given me lots to think about today Ms. Tammy. Thank you!
JD. Tammy gave us lots to think about! Our priorities should always be as Jesus would do. Remember the bracelets: WWJD?
Oh my, the picture in my mind of you with your black purse perched on the crook of your elbow is a vivid one and well – just made me Tickled Pink! Wink. Thank you for sharing the sweet memory of your Meme with us. And you’ve added another thought to the “too busy” lifestyle, that of not finding our joy — which only Christ gives to us when we let him. Thanks for that reminder.
Wow! Just before I read this, I was thinking of how many things I want to do that I have not yet been able to do. Sometimes I feel hindered by an autoimmune condition that limits me in ways. But I’m also grateful that because of health limitations, I value time, opportunities, and the ability to use my gifts to advance God’s purposes. I’ve been in a season where God is showing me how to stop checking my watch/calendar and stop allowing myself to be overwhelmed so I can simply do what He leads me to in the moment by His strength.
Michelle, we all live too much by the clock. In slowing down, we offer ourselves as a connection to others and God. Thanks so much.
Wow, I believe He just affirmed what you’ve been learning from Him. Do what He would have you do, and He will see you through it.
Thanks for this reminder,Tammy. I am in my sunset years had have learned the importance of slowing down and being still. There was a time when I was over committed because I said “yes” to almost everything that came across my path. After all, I was fulfilling a need. I had the ability. If I didn’t do these things, nobody else would, right? I had an obligation, didnt I? Then during his sermon, a pastor made the statement that if any of us were serving out of a sense of obligation, we should step down. He said just because we had the ability to do something, it didn’t mean that we should be doing it. That was a very freeing moment for me. I could lay down that little black purse and breathe.
Thanks, Cindy, a wise woman said to me once there were many wonderful things we can do for God and others, but that didn’t mean we had to do them. Her words have stuck with me everytime I feel overwhelmed.
Oh, this is so good! I heard that same comment in a sermon. I often repeat it to myself when people approach me to “help.” But I’ve learned to say it to them as well. I smile and say “just because I know how to do that, doesn’t mean I should. I’m probably robbing someone of their blessing in walking in obedience with their gifting.That is not my gifting.” Kind way to say no!
Tammy,
I’m sitting here at dinner at 4 p.m. looking down at my black purse. At our ages now, we’re all too aware of the need to slow down and just be—with one another, with friends and family, with our Lord.
But I do think I’ll go grab a colorful purse for the next few weeks!!
Love this so much! Thanks for blessing me!!
💕
Thank you for your kind words, Deb. We do tend to hold on to that purse wanting to do and take care of all the “things.” Yet we have a great example in Jesus. He did have “things” to do, but scripture shows how important the people were to Him. He paused to invest in them as if they were the only reason He was there that day.
Thanks, Debbie, I want a bright yellow for summer and a burnt orange for fall!
Wonderful words! I once went to a seminar and the speaker said, “Too many of us are trying to creep through our lives making it safely to death.”
God has great and wonderful things in store for us. We need to remember to pause and look up.
Oh, that is so good, Susan. We need to do that daily.
Oh, I like that, Susan. Back in the day, the advice to “Stop and smell the roses,” still makes sense today.
Thank you so much for this post. As a retired Nursing Home director, I have see such confused elderly people. It is heart breaking and this loop is such an eye opening one. What loop will we get stuck in! I pray not a “gotta do” one. Let’s break that cycle while we still can!! God willing.
Sheila, you saw the sad situations. I pray we all stop the gotta-get-it-done cycle.
This was great and so encouraging for me! I always have a lot of things to do in Brazil, but I need to remember to live! Blessings!
Yes, we all do! Thanks for popping in and hanging out with us today from Brazil!
Thanks, Jill, Tammy has given all of us something to think about.
Tammy, thank you for these words. I hear you! I needed this! The black purse is a great visual reminder.
I saw a coffee cup last week with this sentiment printed on it, “My mind has too many tabs open.” I had to laugh and confess that is me.
So now, I will close some of those tabs and open time today to listen to God.
Thanks for your kind words. I love the comment from the cup – so true!!
Thanks, Karen, I saw the same coffee mug. Funny but too often true.
Love this message! Thank you. 🙂
Thanks, my friend! 💗
Thank you, Melissa, lots of truth in every word.
Thank you, Tammy! Perfectly timed words for me today. Reserving time for Kingdom work is a vital re-set I’m working on now. I pray my older mind will lock in on “all the things, so many things” I got to see God do because I was available to Him. (Thanks, DiAnn, for giving Tammy space to share with us.)
Karen, thank you for your response to Tammy’s post. I loved the wisdom – and the humor.
Thank you, Karen. It’s so easy to get into the routine and trap of “doing all the things.” We mean well. But wow, the people and opportunities we miss by doing too many of those things that might not have been ours to do!
Oh my, Tammy. Your story really spoke to me today. Live today, don’t wait until that “to do” list is empty. It won’t be until I’m gone.
Thanks, Debbie, Tammy gave us all a reminder of living for today.
Aww, thank you Debbie. Hope you’re encouraged to live, not just do, from Ms. Janet’s experience. And – it was nice meeting you at Blue Ridge!
Thanks for the reminder. So many things to do!
Marjorie, I had to take a second look at my to-do list to see what was really important.
Yes, there seems to be. But let Ms. Janet be your reminder to not over “do.”
Amen!!!
Joyce, I’ll second that Amen!
Thanks, Joyce. I pray you were encouraged not to carry that black purse!
Great words. I did this very thing today. I am behind on my writing and I told someone I had too much to do to attend our monthly Senior Citizens Lunch at church today. I should have made the time. Thanks for sharing.
Love this blog, Tammy. So important to stop doing and doing. I’ve always loved colorful purses so maybe my inner self has been shouting to throw out the black purse.
Thanks for the reminder to live in all the “work to be done.”
karen
Thanks, Karen, Tammy gave us all a sobering reminder – and a giggle
Thanks! And I also carry a colorful purse – pink of course. But gosh, sometimes that black purse finds itself on the crook of my elbow before I know it.
True words. Thank you for reminding me of the black purse I unnecessarily carry!
Thanks, Heidi, I’m going to toss mine too!
Lol! So true, right? We all pick up that purse from time to time. I say we need to throw it out so we can no longer pick it up!
Thank you, Diane! I hope you were encouraged by Ms. Janet’s story.
Great words, Tammy. I can certainly identify with so much in what you have said. But I will make myself available for Kingdom work. Thanks for sharing. I, too, learned a great deal from your post.
Thanks, Diane, Kingdom work always needs our attention.