By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
We’ve all heard about the importance of first impressions. Last week, I was having a discussion with a writer friend about 
how so many times, those first impressions are lasting. What can we do when ours is tainted?
I’ve fallen prey to being judged by a first impression and regret those times. We can apologize, even justify, our behavior. But unfortunately that initial meeting can’t be undone.
How can we ensure those who meet us for the first time are met with a favorable perception? The truth is, we can only be ourselves, but we can do our best by looking presentable and showing a genuine desire for friendship.
The following five ways will help leave a favorable impression on those we meet not only for the first time but also every time afterward.
1. Look your best. When your doorbell rings, who does the person on the other side see? When we take the time to dress as though each person we meet is special, that reflection becomes a part of who we are. Style your hair. Wear clean and repaired clothing. Add a bit of makeup—if you’re a woman.
2. Practice personal hygiene. There’s no excuse for unwashed bodies, uncombed hair, or unbrushed teeth. Not only is it a must for a valuable first impression, we feel better about ourselves when we look and smell . . . clean.
3. Find your smile. Our lives can be beset with unhappy circumstances. Tragedies hit us from seemingly nowhere. When that happens, it’s difficult to face the world with a smile. But it’s critical to show others that we are pleased to meet them. Practice smiling in the mirror, even through our tears.
4. Use positive speech. Have you ever been in a crowd where someone is angry, using inappropriate language, or simply making sure he/she is heard? I quickly become embarrassed for that person. When we are able to communicate with words and a positive tone that reflect professionalism and consideration for those around us, we’ll be remembered in a good way.
5. Show graciousness. I often travel, and one thing that upsets me is a person who is rude to others. Hotel staff, restaurant workers, taxi drivers—everyone deserves our respect and appreciation for what they do. Even when we are treated unfairly, we don’t need to reciprocate with bad behavior.
“First impressions matter. Experts say we size up new people in somewhere between 30 seconds and two minutes.” Elliott Abrams
How do you feel about first impressions?
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Comments 11
Having been a teacher for many years, I realize how important it was to learn each student’s name as quickly as possible and then greet that person by his or her name each morning and use the person’s name when answering questions and in conversations. The Dean of Women at my college set a great example for me when she called each of us new students by name the first time she saw us as school began. She had deliberately studied the photographs we had attached to our applications and memorized our names. I love the list of excellent ways you gave to leave a good first impression.
Today, I heard a story expressing first impressions from a younger point of view.
Recently, a 21 year old guy graduated from infantry boot camp. Saturday night he was finally dismissed with permission to be his family in civilian clothes for the first time in almost four months. He brought the clothes from his locker he wore when he left for boot camp and couldn’t wait to put them back on. At the hotel, he brought them out of a bag and looked at his jeans in shock. He said, “I can’t wear these.” His dad’s first thoughts, you haven’t gained that much mass, You can still fit in them. But that wasn’t the problem. The new soldier turned the jeans over in hands, and said “How did my jeans get these holes just setting in my locker?” The jeans, of course, had always had holes in them and had been in favorite to wear.
He went on to say, “I can’t be seen in public in these jeans.”
What a change in 4 months about the value of first impressions…
(Luckily his Mom had brought him another pair of pants he could wear.)
Hi Lyndie, isn’t it amazing how people can change when new priorities direct them in a new – and in this case – a positive direction. Thanks so much!
I worked for a manufacturing company as a factory rep/sales guy. Two of my experiences based upon “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Carnegie, revolve around names and recognition of people no matter their occupation. My first day at work I met Clarence, the janitor. I used the bathroom in the production facility, and found it to be neat and tidy. I told him so. This was almost twenty years ago now. Clarence always treated me with respect and friendliness throughout my sixteen years there.
The other instance concerns some 30 to 40 dealers from around the world who attended a training symposium on our product line. A few days before the event I received an attendee list from the organizer. Some names were unpronounceable for me. Still, I picked either a last name or first name for those individuals. When the bus load showed up at the door, our staff greeted them with a smile and a handshake. In that process and during the managements’ introductions, I studied the crowd, their name tags and my list. When it came time for me to speak about product and someone asked a question, I’d respond with, “Ming Gu Kang, let me show you how that happens” or “Yvonne, we do it this way.” Those examples were the first impressions those folks had of me. For the next 15 years, we remained solid business associates who knew someone at the plant cared enough about them to know their name. I attribute whatever success I had in that business to those first impressions.
From that point on, over the next decade the management always required I be at the symposium, where another new group of people, along with about a third of the attendees being return participants, greeted me by name.
Hi Warren, What a beautiful example of showing others respect and honor. Thanks so much.
To me there is no excuse for rudeness.
What you said reminded me of the story I read about a teacher that had a question on the students final. He asked them what was the name of the janitor they passed in the hallway everyday. I don’t think any of them knew.
We should be friendly to everyone and not look at anyone like they are beneath us. We are all equal in God’s eyes.
Thanks Gail, Remembering those who serve us with respect is the best way to make a positive impression. A smile and a kind word goes a long way.
DiAnn, good advice. Let me add that sometimes a first impression isn’t obtained by face-to-face contact, but through social media. And the major problem there is that it’s difficult, sometimes impossible, to convey the nuance and tone we want our messages to have. My wife (who has the good sense in our family) advises me to stay away from sarcasm and even humor in the written word when there’s a possibility of misinterpretation. In other words, think before you hit “send.”
As always, thanks for sharing with us.
Hi Richard, My husband says the same thing about social media. Thanks for the reminder.
This is soooo true, DiAnn! First impressions make a big difference in people’s opinion of us. When I moved into my new neighborhood, I was sitting on my front porch swing and a female neighbor walking her small dog stopped by. She instantly welcomed me to the neighborhood, introduced herself, and told me where she lived. Needless to say, I was impressed! Now, I see her often, we chat, and have coffee. Great first impression!!
HI Loretta, what a wonderful welcome. We all can take a lesson from your neighbor.