DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
Guest Blogger: Lori Roeleveld @LoriRoeleveld
Dear World,
I have a confession to make.
Many of you people make me uncomfortable.
It’s true. But, I try hard to hide it for a million reasons.
Reason one: I don’t see Jesus ever being uncomfortable – ever. Read the gospels. He walked through this world like He owned it. (Okay, He did, but still.)
I don’t ever see Him dodge a situation, or stumble over words, or mumble an answer. He just related to other people. All kinds. Sinners and would-be saints. He loved them AND He said hard things to them without ever skipping a beat. That, alone, is enough reason to want to be like Him.
Since I represent Him, I figure I shouldn’t be uncomfortable either, but I’m still in the process of becoming like Him.
So, sometimes, I am living and speaking from the new growth part of my soul; but other times, I’m sticking up a cardboard likeness of Jesus between myself and others hoping that will hold up until I can figure out what He would say or do in this situation. It’s not really working for me or the others in my conversations, so I must find a way of not doing that.
Reason two: It’s not okay to be uncomfortable in these times. We’re all supposed to know what to say to everyone all the time. If you don’t know what to say, hesitate a heartbeat too long, it’s a signal that you are suspect (of whatever is worst to be at any given time).
It’s especially bad from someone who works with words for a living. Of all people, I ought to have the patter down. But, you know, I just don’t.
And, it’s not for lack of trying. My goodness, I’m in my Bible every day. I watch the news (more than one station). I view Ted Talks and read writers who think differently than I do as well as heroes of my faith.
I’m honestly trying to be open to people who think and live in ways that I don’t, but still represent the bold truth of the Bible. I have to tell you, one thing I’m truly looking forward to in Heaven is a long, long nap.
I study people who articulate well the truth I live, and try to do what they do. But, it’s a lot harder in the lunchroom at work than it is from a stage surrounded by people who already agree with what you’re saying.
I listen hard to people who reject this truth and try to love them with my ears, with my attention, with my attempts at empathy, knowing full well that we may connect while I listen, but the moment I open my mouth to voice what I believe, they’re just as likely to feel that all my listening was a sham, a smokescreen, a baited hook, (and are they that wrong? for I am, after all, a fisher of men – make that men and women. Make that humans. Make that . . . never mind. You know what I’m trying to say.)
But, it’s not about catching fish to eat them, but about fishing people out of the drink, so they can be safe on deck when the storm comes because you want to be in Jesus’ boat as the lightning strikes.
You get this, right? I mean, I didn’t expect this struggle. I was always the kid in class with my hand up, the one who volunteered for the speaking parts, the girl most likely to have something to say,
More and more I’m resembling a bad mime doing an imitation of a fish drowning in water. (Wonder if that’s the symbol I should have on my rear bumper? I mean, truth in advertising, right?)
Reason three: (Okay you knew there was a third because there’s nothing a Christian loves more than truth that comes in threes.) This reason is hard to say because you’re not likely to believe it, but it’s about the fact that I really love you.
You don’t believe that because there are so many things on which we don’t agree. And in these times, to disagree apparently means we must wish each other dead or into non-existence, but that’s not where I’m coming from, as ancient and archaic and retro as that makes me.
I love you and want you to live. I want you to live forever, in fact, but the only way I know for you to do that is through Jesus Christ and with Jesus comes this narrow road, hard truths, and transformation from the way we are to the way He is and that means change – not just for you, I’m changing, too, but I already know His love so it’s a different story, isn’t it? (When I get nervous, I forget to punctuate, I know, but bear with me.)
I think, for all our sakes, I’m going to have to just move this cardboard Jesus-poster I’ve been lugging around, own up to my own humanity, and start entering conversations like this:
“Hey, it makes me wildly uncomfortable to engage in this conversation, because I know just from listening to you that my views aren’t likely to make us friends, but I feel like I’m being dishonest under this cover of silence.”
Or, if I have more time and some Holy Spirit gumption:
“Look, I want us to be at peace. I respect you and the boldness with which you share your views. I’m not looking to judge you or add to the challenges in your life, but you and I see things differently. I hold to ancient truths that have been shared by Bible-believing Jesus-followers for centuries, and I’m not ashamed of them. I’ve been quiet because I don’t want to hurt you (and I admit, I don’t want you to hurt me), but while times are changing, these truths have not. I’ve been building a closet of silence for my own protection, if I’m honest. But for your sake, it’s important for me to come out as a Jesus-loving, Bible believing, modern-day sinner saved by grace. You may choose not to share my views and I will still love you and want to live in peace. You may not feel the same about me.”
Or, you know, maybe I’ll come up with a shorter version.
Either way. This silence isn’t working for me. And there will come a day when you’ll realize my silence was no kindness to you, either.
Thank you for listening. I hope you’re still around after I start talking,
Love, The Jesus-follower in your life.
“If I say, “I will not mention him, or speak any more in his name,” there is in my heart as it were a burning fire shut up in my bones, and I am weary with holding it in, and I cannot.” Jeremiah 20:9
Lori
Lori Stanley Roeleveld is a professional coach, writer, speaker, and disturber of hobbits. She’s authored five award-winning books, and her sixth, Graceful Influence:Making a Lasting Impact through Lessons from Women of the Bible releases in March. She is owner of Take Heart! Coaching and Freelance. Though she has degrees in Psychology and Biblical Studies, Lori learned the most from studying her Bible in life’s trenches. She speaks her mind at www.loriroeleveld.com.
Thank you, Lori!
Please help me congratulate the FACING THE ENEMY Reader Giveaway winners that were randomly selected from entries in last week’s sweepstakes. Winners include Elizabeth from MD, Sandy from NE, Jennifer from OH and Kerri from TX.
CONGRATULATIONS LADIES!
Comments 34
Elizabeth, Sandy, Jennifer, and Kerri-
Congratulations!
Thanks, Glenda, I appreciate your sweet comments.
Lori,
Wow. This hit me. Deeply. I struggle with not wanting to offend, not wanting to get into arguments, and shame for not defending Jesus. But mostly, how to say those words that will open the door to conversation – not accusations, name calling, anger, defensiveness – on both sides. Rationalizing my silence takes the form of “They won’t listen anyway so why bother”, or “I’ll just put my views and beliefs in writing to avoid the in-person approach”, or “It’s not up to me anyway. The Holy Spirit has to change their heart.” But who sews the seed? Take a look in the mirror, Karen. Just sow the seed, THEN the Holy Spirit does what He does best. And in His timing. But above all, here is one place where the “pray without ceasing” is so essential.
I will hold onto this post and have set a reminder to read it again.
DiAnn, thank you for giving us this wisdom from Lori.
I’d like to add, the seeds we sew (our words spoken or written), should be the best quality we can say or write. Words of grace, compassion, and integrity.
Susan, Lori’s post is one to print and keep.
Beautifully stated.
Karen, we all struggle with how to show Jesus and love others and be bold. The three often don’t seem to mix. But like you said, the Holy Spirit guides us when we aren’t sure what to say or do.
You’ve put voice to my own struggle that birthed this post. May we encourage one another to pray for opportunities and then to speak into them. Thanks for your beautiful transparency!
Oh, Lori, how God has empowered you with words we all wish we had. If you could hear Hubby and me after reading one of your posts, you’d know just how deeply your words penetrate our spirits. We never fail to say—“She’s done it again.” You have a remarkable gift. I can only touch the surface of the thoughts and emotions they create with me.
I’m so blessed and thankful to know you, to read your words, to call you “friend.”
Amen to that Debbie! Lori has the gift of writing what we feel.
Thank you Lori for showing what faith and love in action can look like.
Thank you, Susan. Writing it is so much easier than living it.
There’s a song I love titled He’s Still Working On Me.
He’s still working on me, to make me what I oughta be. It took Him just a week to make the moon and the stars, sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars. How loving and patient He must be, cause He’s still working on me.
Gail, I imagine God will be still working on me when I get to heaven. 🙂
Me too DiAnn!
I remember that song from Vacation Bible School and from hymn sings growing up. Thanks for that!
Lori, this is yet another example of your wisdom, another to read and re-read. A keeper. Thanks for sharing, and thanks to DiAnn for letting you sit in her chair today.
Peggy, what lovely encouragement. Thank you so much!
Peggy, Lori is so wise, and I love her insight! We are all blessed with her post today.
Well said, Lori. May we remember, “And there will come a day when you’ll realize my silence was no kindness to you, either.”
Thank you, Debbie. Good to see you here!
Debbie, oh the uncomfortable people and situations we all encounter.
Thank you, Lori. Your post is spot on and extremely helpful.
God bless and keep you!
And the same to you, Terry. Thank you for your kind words.
Terry, I learned so much for Lori’s post too.
Wow, Lori. What a post. I agree with Barb above. I so appreciate your honesty. You are spot on about how we come from a motive of love but in today’s culture, any disagreement is seen far differently. Lots of great things to think about. Thank you!
Thank you, Gayle! We must love so greatly we’re willing to weather the conflict. We have a lot to learn from our persecuted brothers and sisters in this regard.
Gayle, we are on the same page. We can try so hard with others and yet some will always find fault.
Thanks for your honesty, Lori. I can identify. I want to say the right things. I want to obey the Scripture that tells us to have our speech full of grace and seasoned with salt, but sometimes it comes out sounding like vinegar. Although I don’t mean for it to. I need more practice at displaying the love of Jesus because I really do want that compassion to show to other people too. Thanks, DiAnn, for hosting Lori today.
Barbara we all need more practice but the gospel will sometimes just be hard for some to hear. Like honey to some, vinegar to others. We need to be sure we love and then, leave the rest to God.
Barbara remember the song, “They will know we are Christian by our love.” Oh, do I struggle with the disagreeable ones.
Congratulations to all the winners! So exciting. As for Ms. Lori’s post, there’s not question of Point 3, we can read it all throughout your post ma’am. With that said, I’ve found that I don’t communicate my best when I’m uncomfortable around someone. In the same light, my message is not well-received by folks who are uncomfortable with me. I pray the Holy Spirit helps me to discern that, and I cut my conversation short and pray that the next person who shares the gospel, etc. with them will place them more at ease. So much to love about your post ma’am. Thank you; and thanks to Ms. DiAnn for sharing her blog with you.
Love that insight, J.D. We do need to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and we also need to see ourselves as part of a team of witnesses to each individual. Thanks for that!
J.D., you know how to write a book or preach a message in one sentence. The Holy Spirit does know our weaknesses, and praise God we have Him!