Are You Basing Your Self-Worth on Performance?

By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills

We all claim our self-worth is not based on performance. Our personal and professional lives are directed by wanting to do our best, to fulfill a useful purpose. But sometimes we don’t see our own misgivings. We view our self-worth by what we do and how well we do it.

Here are a few signs that we might need to adjust the way we view ourselves and others:

  • Our motto is perfection. We are obsessed with every task. We can’t delegate anything. After all, we do the best job.
  • Our expectations of ourselves exceed what we expect of others.
  • Our lives are consumed with stress … self-induced.
  • Our achievements matter more than our relationships with others.
  • Our need to control everything alienates others.
  • Our IQ, appearance, social status, family, church, political beliefs, etc., govern how others accept us.

The downside of basing our self-worth on performance is it raises our stress level. Our nervous system releases hormones to combat our emergency flight, fear, or threatened feelings. Unfortunately, it can’t discern whether the “thing” increasing our heart rate is physical or emotional. If we are trained to defend and protect others, our nervous system is our best friend. But if we use it constantly for day-to-day functions, our health suffers. Who needs blood pressure meds, chronic headaches, or body pain?

If the above fits you, been there … repeatedly, what are a few ways to balance performance-driven personalities with a realistic look at self-worth?

  1. We are loved by God, the Creator of the universe. He doesn’t care how much we’ve accomplished, how others view us, the size of our bank account, or our kid’s IQ. We are loved.
  2. Start the day with God. Be purposeful. Pray and meditate on His Word.
  3. We have feelings and emotions that are normal. Denying them makes us robots, not humans.
  4. If something doesn’t get done, it doesn’t mean we are a failure.
  5. We need downtime to rest and rejuvenate. Take a Sabbath, a holy day set apart to rest.
  6. We make mistakes. Admit them. Learn from them. And grow!
  7. Laugh!
  8. Get outside!
  9. Dance! Be a kid again.
  10. I found this site with incredible ideas to increase your self-worth from Psychalive.

I think all of us can be guilty of running the “my self-worth is based on performance race.” We aren’t hamsters, my friends. Enjoy each precious moment of life that we’ve been given.

Do you have a self-worth tip?