When Out of Control is Okay

DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills

Guest blog by Jerusha Agen @SDGwords

The anxiety was like an attacker clutching at my throat. It cinched my stomach and squeezed my heart.

I knew this nemesis, this fear, too well.

I thought I had shaken off my anxiety only the week before. But as soon as I had learned a loved one’s health was at risk—that I couldn’t do anything about it—the anxiety returned.

I couldn’t control the situation or what I saw looming in the future.

All I could do was fear.

I know I’m not alone in fearing what I can’t control. Whether that’s flying in an airplane or not knowing the outcome of the next twenty-four hours, many of us are plagued by anxiety prompted by things we can’t control.

Most of us cope by living in a bubble of our own making where we pretend we can control aspects of our lives.

That’s what Bristol Bachmann, the heroine of my romantic suspense novel Rising Danger has done with her life. After a tragedy changed her forever, she moved far away from any chance she would have to feel out of control again.

Now, she’s constructed a life she can control. As a police bomb technician, she learned she could control even dangerous explosives. And when she left the police to work at the Phoenix K-9 Security and Detection Agency in the Twin Cities of Minnesota, she partnered with explosive detection K-9 Toby, who enables her to save more lives and ensure greater control over bombs she might have missed without Toby’s help.

But when a bomber targets the dams on the Mississippi River, his unpredictability rattles her sense of control and threatens to unleash her greatest nightmare.

It doesn’t help that Remington Jones, her ex-boyfriend and the most unreliable man she’s ever met, comes back into her life, and she’s forced to work with him to stop the bomber.

Like me, Bristol starts to become a victim of fear. Instead of having control over her life, fear threatens to control her.

And like me, she needs to come to the place of realization that we are never in control in the first place.

This truth can be scary. But I’ve realized I’ll never have freedom from fear over my lack of control until I recognize that I’m never in control.

Because then I can discover and recognize Who is in control. God is.

And then I realize why that reality isn’t scary at all. I realize why I don’t have to pretend I’m in control. I realize why I don’t have to be afraid anymore.

God is good. He is perfect. He is all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing. He has a plan—an incredible story—that He will bring to completion in the happiest ending ever known.

As for me? I’m weak, sinful, imperfect, and I seem to know and see less every day.

When I feel anxiety closing in, I need to remember the truth. Then joy can take the place of fear, because it’s truly good news that I’m not in control.

Do you ever feel out of control?

Jerusha Agen imagines danger around every corner, but knows God is there, too. So naturally, she writes suspense infused with the hope of salvation in Jesus Christ.

With a B.A. in English and a background in screenwriting, Jerusha is a speaker, writing instructor, and Fear Warrior who sounds the call to battle against fear in our everyday lives.

Jerusha loves to hang out with her big furry dogs and little furry cats. You’ll often find her sharing irresistibly adorable photos of them in her newsletter and on social media.

Get a free suspense story from Jerusha and find more of her thrilling, fear-fighting novels at www.JerushaAgen.com.


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It’s up to a K-9 handler and her canine partner to stop a bomber before it’s too late.

Someone’s planting explosives on dams in the Twin Cities, and Bristol Bachmann and her bomb sniffing dog must move quickly to find them before everything ends up underwater. That means relying on the dams’ supervisor—an ex-boyfriend Bristol never thought she’d see again. Hopefully Remington Jones has grown up from the rakish charmer she knew in her academy days. Because lives now depend entirely on them…

It’s an environmental terrorist who wants the dams gone, and his bid to set the waters free has lethal consequences. When he sees Bristol and her K-9 working to stop him, he sets his sights on them. Can they evade him in a lethal game of cat and mouse and protect their cities from devastating destruction before the clock runs out?

Thanks, Jerusha!