By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
Good listening skills are an art, which means we strive to be alert, aware, and appropriate. We mine our skills by being creative and imaginative. Many find it easy to talk, especially when they have advice to give, a point to make, or simply want to be heard.
When we show others we are interested in what they have to say, that person feels valued. Listening doesn’t necessarily mean we agree or support the speaker, but it shows we care enough to listen. We’ve all encountered those who interrupt or dismiss what someone is saying. Do we want to be one of those people who is known for taking over every conversation and not respecting others?
We listen to others—
- To better our understanding of a subject
- To gain information
- To get to know someone better
- To show respect for the speaker and their knowledge or expertise
- To show we are interested in the person and what they have to say
Good listening skills show we care and respect the speaker. So how do we develop the art?
- Eye Contact. Give the speaker your attention.
- Concentrate on listening.
- Use body language that shows we’re paying attention to the speaker.
- Respond to what the speaker is saying with suitable comments and questions.
- Learn about the person or people you’re meeting. This is a good practice for personal and professional situations.
- Practice listening.
- Compliment the speaker if appropriate. Be sincere.
- Be yourself. Our personalities have qualities that enable us to be friendly. When we fake interest, the listener knows.
Let’s help each other. What tips do you have to be a better listener?
Comments 21
DiAnn, thank you for always sharing messages that teach us and compel us to improve a skill or area in our life.
I hope you and your family have a blessed holiday season.
Thank you, Michelle. Thank you for reading my posts! Be blessed in this joyous season.
I confess I am not a good listener, but I am asking God to help me learn to first of all listen to Him.
Frances, I think you’re cutting yourself short. I think you’re a wonderful listener and filled with wisdom.
Unfortunately, with 80% hearing loss from firing 55 mm canon in the Navy, I can be a good listener and not hear a word a person is saying. It’s like I’m living in a soundless world! It’s just as frustrating to those of us with hearing loss as it is with those who are trying to get us to communicate. Every once in a while I come upon someone who “gets it!” Like the “Tele prompter” at the Honolulu Airport recently. It was the first airport I could see what the public announcements were. Enough ranting! It is 5:43 in the morning. Have a Happy Thanksgiving! My eye sight is good! Lol!
Mel, you have one of the kindest hearts on the planet. You are always there for others no matter if a little hearing loss attempts to stop you. Have a blessed Thanksgiving!
I’ve been told I’m a good listener. People fascinate me.
I’ve noticed people do not look others in the eye. That is what I really try to do. That one little thing changes a conversation.
I’m hooked on your books!
Thank you again for the interview. You did great!
Happy Thanksgiving.
Your family is blessed to have you.
Warmly
Gail Helgeson
Thanks, Gail. A good listener is a gift! So glad you’re enjoying my books.
I am a good listener and like to use body language to let the speaker know I am enjoying what they have to say.
Happy Thanksgiving! I am reading Concrete Evidence and will soon finish this awesome book. I will put a review on Goodreads when I am finished.
Thank you so much, Linda. Appreciate you! Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
Listening is an art we need to practice and focus on. It does show the other person we value them and what they have to say. And as you pointed out, we do need to be sincere. Thanks for all these great points. Happy Thanksgiving, DiAnn!
Thank you, Barbara, have a blessed Thanksgiving!
To be truthful, it’s according to who is talkimg. But I’m trying to be better at listening. Wishing you and your family a beautiful Thanksgiving Celebration time.
Happy Thanksgiving, DiAnn!
I also thank you for all your messages of good things!
Blessings to you and yours at this special time of year.
Billie Dumas
P.S. Be a polite listener even if you don’t agree with what is being said.
Thanks, Billie, I agree! We should listen and respond with encouragement – even if we have to search for it. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
I find that sometimes I listen too well and the person will never stop talking about themselves! But I try to hear their past lives, their past accomplishments and failures. It seems that we who are retired, want to share our “past lives” with each other, and there is so much to share! I live in a community of people who have had national fame and they are the quiet ones. At times I have drawn out their accomplishments and enjoyed listening to their experiences.
Thanks, Judith. Some people are introverts, some are extroverts, and some simply need a listening ear I’m glad you are there for them. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
Not always; I’ve been better. While working, I worked hard to be a good listener, as it was important when working with ad hoc teams that we all understood one another and worked toward the common goal. Since I retired, and work by myself most of the time, I find I don’t listen as well as I used to.
JD, Thanks for your comments. Reading your work and your wonderful blog posts, I can’t imagine you ever not giving 100% to everyone. Have a blessed Thanksgiving.
Have a very Happy Thanksgiving, DiAnn….:~))
Thank you, Vondia. May your Thanksgiving be filled with love!