Whatsoever Things Make You Belly Laugh

DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills

Guest Blogger Tracy Joy Jones @tracyjoyjones1

I love the restorative quality of sunshine—all that vitamin D and not to mention the adventures to be had on a sunny day. That is, unless you’ve had any kind of skin cancer scare. I’ve had a couple of pre-cancerous spots burned from my face, so I’m a little timid to embrace the sunshine the way I once did.

A few days ago, I was admiring my neighbor’s tan when she shocked me by announcing her golden skin resulted from an at-home self-tanner. Impressed, I ordered it immediately, excited to pack away my winter white for a gently sun-kissed glow.

The product arrived within two days, and that next morning, I dutifully read the instructions and began the application. At about the halfway point, I wondered at the color. The product gave my pale skin a distinctly greenish, dark brown tint. I persevered, remembering my friend’s beautiful tan, but my concern grew arm by arm. And that’s when I read the bottle. Instead of the “golden brown” color I’d expected, I’d been sent “Intensely Dark.”

Yup. Not at all what I had in mind. Half olive and half milk white. I could only stand in my bathroom and laugh until my stomach hurt. There is a terribly funny episode of “Friends” where Ross accidentally spray tans his face and front three times, because he doesn’t know when to turn. It felt a bit like that moment. On the bright side, I wasn’t facing a threat of skin cancer. On the dark side, I was completely on the dark side in a very non-the-way-my-Heavenly-Father-made-me looking way.

At a loss at what to do, I finished the process. I figured half-baked had to be worse than overly baked. Then I showered and scrubbed and scrubbed and exfoliated.

Mercifully, I seem to have escaped the brunt of “Intensely Dark.” But the process gave me a very good laugh at my own expense, and I thought maybe you could use a laugh as well.

After all, to paraphrase Philippians 4:8, whatsoever things are true, noble, pure and lovely and happy and make you belly laugh and help you remember not to take things too seriously because God is still God . . .  think on these things.

Yours with an extra kiss of sunshine,

Tracy Joy Jones

Tracy Joy Jones was content to spend her life reading other people’s books, but then her imaginary friends started talking and wouldn’t leave her alone until she told their stories. When not writing, Tracy reads voraciously, finds humor in almost everything, co-owns a graphic design firm, Jones House Creative, all while raising three beautiful kids, a husband, and a garden in Jenks, Oklahoma. Connect with Tracy on her website, tracyjoyjones.com or on social media.

Thank you, Tracy! When I first heard this hilarious story, I knew I wanted to share it with readers.