By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
None of us want to be labeled with a negative attitude—that is not a trait for how to keep or win friends. Yet, many of us implore the use of negativity to get our point across and often without any idea of our harshness.
Emotion draws us to the speaker or kicks us to the curb. The reason is simple: positive communication is all about choosing the right words. If you’ve been thinking about increasing your level of communication skills to eliminate the negative and add more positive, this post may be for you.
The following are easy tips that apply to the art of speaking—and don’t omit the many emails and other written information that are a part of today’s life.
10 Negative Word Choices That Affect Emotion
- Anger
- Shame
- Failure
- Overwhelmed
- Loneliness
- Depression
- Guilt
- Fear
- Helplessness
- Jealousy
10 Positive Word Choices That Affect Emotion
- Joy
- Hope
- Love
- Content
- Inspiration
- Encouragement
- Gratitude
- Satisfaction
- Kindness
- Affection
The sound of our words evokes emotion and mood by the way they flow from our mouths or written communiqué.
Hard consonants create a feeling of harshness.
- Brisk
- Terse
- Cut
- Kill
- Dank
An example:
“Get going,” he said. “Don’t slam the door.”
I trembled and tried to stand on wobbly legs.
“Dumb kid. You askin’ for a beating?”
Words with long vowels sounds can calm the listener/reader and relax them.
- Play
- Free
- Nice
- So
- My
Words with soft consonants are easier to say/read and soothing to the ear.
- Mom
- Yes
- Soft
- Circle
- Love
Add a long vowel sound and we can slow down the listener/reader’s heart rate.
- Oh, honey
- You can join us
- Show me
- We see the city
- I have energy
Many words ending with “y” are light, even fun.
- Pretty
- Dainty
- Lovely
- Perky
- Cheery
Words that roll around in our mouth are fun to say and write, and we don’t have to be Mary Poppins’s fans to appreciate them.
- Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
- Antidisestablishmentarianism
- Incomprehensibilities
The rhythm of our sentences often suggests emotional responses. Short sentences tend to speed up the conversation with excitement. Long sentences slow the pace and can relax the listener/reader.
Non-verbal communication processes emotion through body language. Statistics show that communication is approximately 90% non-verbal. But that’s a topic for another time.
Whether we are talking to someone individually, speaking to a group, or corresponding through the written word, we want to show grace, respect, and a positive experience to the other person.
What have you used to sweeten your conversations?
Comments 17
Thanks for this helpful and interesting information. We can see a difference in people when we use the right words.
Author
Thanks, Barbara – like our mom’s told us – honey sweetens better than vinegar.
What a timely article with so much negativity around us. I love the idea of being purposeful in thinking about and using positive words to communicate hope to our readers. Thank you.
Author
Cindy, thank you for your kind words! Now, I need to remember them!
This was a fun read, DiAnn, and SOoo useful. I look forward to them to see what kind of adventure we’ll read about today!!! I always heard pets like soft endings on their names, so they didn’t think we are angry at them. So true I tried to do that with my former pets and they did respond favorably.mI’m telling you, they smiled.
When I was 17-20 I worked in a bank. One of the older tellers there called each of us girls darling face. I loved it. I have used it many times since. I’m also old enough I can get away with it!
In Taiwan, sometimes academics is more important to parents than showing affection to their kids. One 20+ Taiwanese girl lived with us for a time. I always made it a point to call her Precious, and I still do. She visibly blossoms each time.
I do use Sweetie and honey a lot these days mostly because I also can’t remember names! 😂 Perfect for the south! 😁 PTL
Author
Oh, Barbara, I love the idea about pets. Never heard it before, and it makes incredible sense. And I use honey and sweetie a lot too – cause I can’t remember names. 🙂
Haha Kindred spirits!
“Precious”, #sweetie” and “it’s all good” are common words I use. However, lately so is “overwhelmed” and “stressed” so I need to work on that.
Author
Elizabeth, we can certainly think stressed and overwhelmed!
I think my first comment may have gotten lost.
Thank you for this post. I will print out these lists to keep handy and nearby when I write and edit.
I call my grandchildren Honey, Sweetheart, My little buddy, and My sweet princess. Can’t help but tell them how much they mean to me.
Author
Karen, my grandkids are always the highlight of any conversation. So glad you enjoyed the post!
If you are okay with that.
I’ve used Honey, Sweetheart, My little buddy, and Hey, little princess. Can you tell these are in conversations with my precious grandchildren?
I’m going to print out these lists as a prompt to watch for them when editing.
Thank you!
Your posts are always such a blessing. Thank you and have a wonderful day.
Author
Donna, thank you so much for reading them and commenting.
This is a wonderful and timely post. Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Author
Philip, you are welcome! It’s too easy to use negative words when positive ones speak love and grace.