By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
A perfectionist is seldom satisfied with her performance, and she’s rarely pleased with other’s accomplishments either. Some say it’s the way the person is wired, or how the person was raised, educated, and a host of other reasons, which are really excuses for an attempt to step out of the human DNA. None of us are perfect, so we need to get past it.
The key to rid perfectionism from our lives is to accept who we are, our strengths and our limitations, and move forward with an attitude of grace. Our self-worth is not chained to a perfectionist/performance trap.
Sometimes I view my writing too critically and spend hours thinking readers will discard my story. That’s when I have to take a break and evaluate who I am and why I’ve allowed the demon called perfectionism to threaten my God-given gift.
But it’s not easy. Here are 7 ways I’ve found to rid perfectionism and embrace acceptance.
- Accept I am human and humans are imperfect creatures who must learn to forgive themselves and others. I’m not an exception, but a member of a beautiful collection of people.
- Accept I am unique and not to be compared with any other person on the planet.
- Accept I can complete a project with definite steps and organization, but the project doesn’t define who I am.
- Accept I can accept constructive criticism and develop strength from my mistakes and failures, not dissolve into a puddle of self-imposed worthlessness. The result is a book with heart, passion, and filled with characters who are real.
- Accept I can take time for myself to enjoy life and those people special to me.
- Accept I can walk away from a rejection and still be valued and worthy of love.
- Accept I can laugh at myself and the world. Humor is a biblical and scientific salve for all ailments.
Perfectionism is a nasty trait that too many of us hold onto. Surrender it’s debilitating effects and fly free!
How do you fight the tendency to be perfect?
DiAnn’s Library Corner
Librarian – Are you and your fellow librarians stalked with perfectionism? Perhaps starting a secret friend campaign with the goal of encouraging each other will help rid the perfectionist streak.
Comments 10
Thanks, DiAnn! I surely needed this today (again).
Hi Jannie, so good to hear from you. Can’t believe you’d ever have a problem with perfectionism. You’re too easy going!
Thanks for the post! I try to remember that I can never attain perfection! Otherwise why would Christ have come to redeem us if ANY one could be perfect? There was ONLY ONE who was/ is perfect: Christ the Son of God!
Blessings.
Hi Paula, I wish I could remember it’s not my role to be perfect, but I slip!
Great post, DiAnn! If I am knitting or crocheting, I rip it out! I can’t handle a mistake, especially if it is a gift and usually it is. I admit it is sometimes hard to accept criticism ….again good post and something to think about.
Thanks, Gloria, I think striving toward perfectionism while understanding it’s impossible is a spiritual balance. But I’m not there yet!
Yet another excellent post DiAnn! Excellent comments and advice!
Hi Susan, thanks so much!
DiAnn, coming from my background of practicing medicine (where we’re expected not to make mistakes…ever) to writing (where the Imposter Syndrome runs rampant), this was one of the hardest things to overcome. Thanks for sharing your own tips.
Thanks, Richard, now if I could follow my own advice!