Are You Concerned About Your Social Skills?

By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills

I’ve spent much of my time away from home this month. We visited family and friends in Ohio, which is always a treat. October has also been busy with the launch of Burden of Proof. Talking to readers about a new book, the writing process, and catching up or making new friends fills me with satisfaction.

Sometimes I’m asked, “Are you the same person at home as you are in public?”

My response is always the same. “I hope so.” With the holidays knocking on our doors and social gatherings taking space on our calendar, let’s chat a bit about our personal and public social skills.

Too often we stress about social gatherings. Will I say the right thing? What if I embarrass myself? How can I be civil to a person I don’t like? I feel so awkward. Instead of enjoying ourselves, we attempt to be what we perceive is a proper social image. When the event is over, and we’re alone with our loved ones, we might become cranky and not so likable.

The lack of confidence has less to do with an introvert or extrovert personality and more to do with how to relax and have a great time.

“If you’re true to yourself, you’re going to be true to everyone else.” John Wooden

Here are three ways you can be yourself socially and not have to worry about putting on a party-face.

  1. Be yourself. No need to create a personality. Find the courage to express your thoughts and opinions in a gracious manner that identifies the real you. Discover how authenticity and discretion weave a valuable person whom others will enjoy. And if you’re perplexed about your reactions to life and different situations, take a personality test. My personal favorite is Myers-Briggs, but other options are available online. Sometimes we do act differently in various social gatherings, and that’s okay as long as we understand why.
  2. Dress so you’ll feel good about how you look. Be comfortable, and if that means leaving the three-inch heels in the closet, do so. If you’re concerned about what to wear, ask the hostess and/or talk to others who will be attending. Search online for tips to look your best. Don’t forget to add a smile.
  3. Ditch the worry. Lack of confidence can destroy our relationship with others and cause emotional damage to ourselves. Don’t let anxiety rob you of the joy of others.

Take a deep breath and look forward to spending time with friends and family. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

DiAnn Mills




Congratulations to Paula from FL, Nancy from KS, Debbie from NC, Cherrilynn from RI, and Susan from GA!

They were randomly selected to win one of the following prizes in celebration of my Burden of Proof book launch.


DiAnn’s Library Corner

Library Tip: With the upcoming holidays, now is the time to display aids that help patrons overcome their fear of social situations.

Burden of Proof by DiAnn Mills

Available @ Your Favorite Retailer!

Check out this great deal!