By DiAnn Mills @DiAnnMills
We are speeding through the holidays, and while most of us enjoy getting together with family and friends, some people sink into a well of depression. They feel alone and abandoned. After a discussion about this sad reality, I decided to share a few of my friend’s and a professional’s ideas about how to help others feel wanted and loved during the season.
- Pray for all those who feel the weight of depression, not just during the holidays but year around. Listen for the silent cries for help.
- Request the person(s) to spend the holiday with you. A statement of, “The day wouldn’t be the same without you,” makes them feel wanted.
- Ask the guest for their favorite holiday dish or recipe.
- Invite the person to a holiday concert or choir presentation.
- Host a holiday movie night.
- Prepare to meet the needs of one who is depressed by using kindness and a listening ear.
- Invest financially. For a family member or friend who lives miles away and will spend a holiday alone, consider financing transportation and other costs needed for the trip.
- Include the person in conversation and activities. Understand no one wants to be pitied or feel like a charity case.
- Understand some people cannot mentally or physically leave their home. Phone, email, text or FaceTime (or an equivalent) often during the season.
- Offer to deliver a holiday meal to a shut-in. Make it festive!
- Consult with a hospital to see if wishing patients a joyous day is appropriate. Leave a small token of your visit.
- Schedule a visit to a nursing home. Many of these people long for company. If you are a pianist, offer to play holiday music for the group.
- Volunteer at a soup kitchen. Wear a smile and a positive attitude.
A friend who is a nurse said it best. “Holidays aren’t always the joyous times of the year everybody thinks they are. Being sensitive to someone’s psychological status can be tricky but can be greatly beneficial to the giver and the recipient of kindness and compassion.”
Share an experience about how you reached out to others during the holidays.
DiAnn’s Library Corner
Library Tip: Encourage community during the holidays activities that involve young and old—then carry it on throughout the year.
Available @ Your Favorite Retailer!
Check out this great deal!
Comments 10
DiAnn, your tips are timely. I think God calls us to walk in prayer & to be ready to reach out to others. That includes extra phone calls to the lonely and hurting. That can mean so much!
Thanks, Charlotte, sometimes a friendly voice can break the despair.
Hi DiAnn and thanks for this great post. One thing that used to bother me was that I didn’t understand how “I” could help others. Sometimes it’s difficult to take that step forward, especially for an introverted person. I have learned that if I listen and act on God’s prompting, I feel better myself after a positive interaction with anyone else.
Thanks for this reminder!
Rebecca, thank you for your kind words. As in introvert, I know it’s hard to put ourselve out there. But you are so right. With God’s help, we can do all things.
In all things, you do have to be aware of what the person is ready to hear or do.
Our guest preacher this Sunday brought a message along these lines. It was based on Psalm 116:15 – Precious in the sight of the Lord Is the death of His godly ones. (NASB)
His theme was there will be a time in our grieving when we can think of the death of a loved one through God’s eyes. I can send the link for the sermon if anyone is interested.
There are 2 songs that I would recommend. Mark Schultz- Different Kind of Christmas
I found it in 2014 when I faced the first Christmas without my parents. Mark wrote it to honor the memory of his father-in-law who had been the heart of their Christmas.
the second song, I just came across as we face Christmas without my 24 yr old nephew.
The Sweetest Gift (dedicated to Anne) by The Piano Guys.
Thank you, Lyndie, for taking the time to share what you went through and what helped. During this time of year, too many of us fail to recognize the sadness of others.
These suggestions are wonderful but, sometimes, no matter how we try, we miss the silent cries. My cousin committed suicide Monday evening. We all knew he was struggling and we used many of these suggestions to include him all we could.
Of course, we are second-guessing ourselves now. Could we have done more? How did we miss how deep his depression was? I want to encourage your readers that they are not responsible for a loved one’s actions. We need to crawl into our Father’s lap and let Him soothe us and melt away any guilt we might feel.
Don’t be afraid to reach out to the family, even during this season. They don’t need words right now, they need your presence and your love.
Sorry, off my soapbox now.
Sherry, my heart breaks for you, Jann, and the rest of your family. A tragedy is always unexpected, and the shock and grief send us to blame. I’m praying for you and all those who are grieving the loss of your cousin. So very sorry.
These are awesome examples and no excuse not to find at least one that we can do!
Thanks, Lori, there are so many things we can do for others.